This Product Might Either a.) Make You Skinner or b.) Kill You

This product promises to reduce your waistline with the patented "Lipo-transportation effect that contours the body, distributing and eliminating fat".


Let's break this down, shall we?  Lipo = fat, transportation = movement. Ergo hence ipso facto, I assume that the product either squishes all the fat into any spaces between your ribs or creates those back boobs that wrap around to the front of the armpit.  Let's hope for rib-stuffing.


What kinda throws me off is the "eliminating fat" part.  What is happening here?  My most logical conjecture is that the heat produced from wearing latex either melts the fat so it slops around your abdominal cavity* OR the pressure from the whale boning inside is so intense that your fat undergoes a chemical change and turns to something else entirely, like epoxy or guano.


*May not accurately represent accepted anatomical models.